The Power of Being Present as a Father

Proximity matters.

Those two words carry a weight that touches every aspect of fatherhood. In Matthew 3:17, we hear the voice of the Father speaking over Jesus: “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” That phrase “with whom” is not just directional. It is deeply relational. It signifies closeness, presence, and intentional connection.

If we want our children to experience our love, know our character, and rise to the standard we set for them, we must be with them, not just around them, not just providing for them, but with them.

The Devastating Impact of Absence
The stats are chilling: 90% of individuals incarcerated for violent crime have a broken relationship with their father. That is not just a statistic. It is a red flag for every dad. It speaks to the deep wound that absence creates.

Children wander through life silently asking, “Where’s my dad?” And when there is no proximity, it leaves a gaping hole in their hearts.

Showing Up, Even When You’re Not the Best at It
I wasn’t the best coach for my boys in sports, and we didn’t win much, but I was a consistent coach. I coached because I could control the schedule. I could say, “Here’s when I’m available to be with you.”
It was different with my daughter. She played soccer, and I didn’t have the skills to coach her, but I still showed up. I paid the dues, supported her from the sidelines, and prioritized those moments because I wanted to be near her. Being there was sacred time.

The Spoken Blessing
In this final look at Matthew 3:17, we focus on the phrase “with whom I am well pleased.” These words form the foundation of the spoken blessing. According to Robert Lewis in Raising a Modern Day Knight, every child needs to hear these three things from their father:
●I love you
●I’m proud of you
●This is what you’re good at

These aren't one-time affirmations. They are the climate we need to create.

From a Moment to a Climate
You might say, “I already did that, Pastor. I told them once.” That is good, but it is not enough.

You don’t just create a moment; you build a climate—a culture of affirmation—a home where your child always knows where they stand with you.

A Real-Life Example: Showing Up for Cooper
Our son Cooper is working as a senior counselor at Pine Cove Camps in Tyler, Texas. They give up their phones from Sunday to Saturday. Last Saturday, we found out, late, that his car wasn’t working.

With VBS going on, a sermon to write, and a tight window, we knew we had to act fast. So we hustled. We drove to Tyler on Friday, picked up the car, and got it to Valvoline Tire and Auto. They had it fixed by 10 a.m. Saturday. It cost $900, but it was done.

That night, as Cooper was heading into another phone-free week, I realized something. I needed to say what I believe. So I told him: “I love you. I’m proud of you. You’re really good at what you do. Go hustle and stay humble.”

I don’t just want to check a box and move on. I want him to live in a climate of blessing.

Dads, Here’s the Challenge
Create a moment today. Say it to your child:
●“I love you.”
●“I’m proud of you.”
●“You’re really good at ____.”

Then, don’t stop. Make this your climate. Make it your culture. Watch your children rise up. Watch them gain strength, love what you love, and grow to reflect your values.

For Those Who Never Received a Father’s Blessing
I know that not everyone has heard these words from their own dad. Some of you never received a father’s blessing. That grieves me deeply.

But there is hope.

Psalm 68:5 says, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” God himself has obligated himself to be your Father.

He knows how to fill in what is missing. He knows how to raise mentors and spiritual fathers in your life. Don’t write off God or your earthly father. Maybe your dad never had a dad who fathered him well. So ask the Lord, “Give me grace for my dad.”

And then extend that grace. Love like God loves you. Freely. Without condition.

Speak Life, Today
The power of life and death is in the tongue. Those who understand that power will enjoy its fruit.

Dads, are you up for the challenge?

Speak blessings—not once, but always. Make it the air your children breathe. Let them live in a climate where love, pride, and affirmation flow freely.

Rise up. Speak life. Be present.

This blog is based on the message shared by Senior Pastor Dr. Roger Patterson at our CityRise Bellaire campus on Sunday, June 15, 2025. Check out the full message below!